Back to work

I really enjoyed my week of paternity leave. We had some challenges, sure, but Rose was relatively easy to look after and it was just nice to spend time with her and Deborah.

It was a bit of a blow when I had to go back to work, not least because I felt I was abandoning Deborah to the sole responsibility of looking after Rose. I feel bad enough that I can't help with the feeding.

Deborah has tried to help me out by not calling on me so much at night, but this only increases her burden so we'll have to see how that goes.

My returning to work seems to be joined by Rose waking up and being a bit more fractious. It's dreadful as a parent when the little creature you brought into the world is crying and obviously upset, yet you can't seem to make things better. I want to take away any pain and discomfit, but we just can't always work out what the problem is?

This all means I cherish all the more those great moments when Rose is awake and just looking around taking in her surroundings. Sometimes she looks up at me and I feel a real connection.

It's all worth it really.